God exists... here's the proof!

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Gary Glitter arrives back in the UK -22nd Aug 2008

What?

It never rains...

Fancy a dance?

Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Mullah for counseling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
Ahmed asks,'We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together.'
'Absolutely not,' says the Mullah.'It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately.'
'So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?'
'No,' answered the Mullah,'It's forbidden in Islam.'
'Well, okay,' says Ahmed,'What about sex? Can we finally have sex?'
'Of course!' replies the Mullah,'Allahu Akbar!(GOD is great) Sex is OK within marriage, to have chi ldren!'
'What about different positions?' asks Ahmed.
'Allahu Akbar! Mafi mushkila (no problem),' says the Mullah.
'Woman on top?' Ahmed asks.
'Sure,' says the Mullah.'Allahu Akbar. Go for it!'
'Doggy style?'
'Sure! Allahu Akbar!'
'On the kitchen table?'
'Yes, yes! Allahu Akbar!'
'Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?'
'You may indeed.. Allahu Akbar!'
'Can we do it standing up?'
'No, absolutely not!' says the Mullah.'
'Why not?' asks the man.
'Because that could lead to dancing!

Balls

Some balls are held for charity

And some for fancy dress

But when they're held for pleasure

They're the balls I like the best

William Wordsworth (1770-1850)

Good advice

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